Author: Cindy

Both “advent” and “adventure” stem from the Latin verb ‘advenire’ meaning “to come to” or “to arrive.”

“Adventure” is derived from “adventurus,” (the future participle of “advenire,”) meaning “about to come” or “on the verge of happening.”

How can advent – a time of waiting be an adventure? Waiting is the time to catch up on emails and clean out my purse, right? Or can my heart and mind be otherwise engaged in what or who I am waiting for?

Advent has historically been the time of waiting for the coming or arrival of Jesus, and traditionally the four weeks before Christmas. The Jewish people in Israel were told to anticipate the coming of the Messiah. And they did, for centuries. And in the ‘fullness of time’, His coming turned the world upside down. It was definitely worth the wait. In our times, we are awaiting His second return and the waiting brings about many emotions. So here are a few thoughts about waiting.

Waiting tests us. It tests our patience for sure. But it also tests our faith. And fears. And doubts. These things rise to the surface needing to be addressed.

How many times have I waited and wondered –

Did I really hear right?

Did I get the day or time wrong?

Is the other individual I am waiting for still coming/interested/active?

Was I really hearing God or was it my own voice?

Waiting truly is a great tester of faithfulness and gauger of commitment. Don had to wait 60 days for my response to his marriage proposal. I wasn’t playing a game; I had been burned once before and fear had gripped me. I didn’t want to go through that again. So the test was for Don – how willing was he to wait? Was I worth it? And the test was for me, too; was I willing to trust God in this? And now, 42 years later, I see how the time of waiting had increased the great value of the commitment to marriage we were going to enter into.

Waiting tempts us. It tempts us to think how we can help bring about the expected answer, to reach for short cuts, which is essentially thinking we need to help God along! Think Abraham and Sarah, and how the fallout of their choice has implications in our world today! When I have finally exhausted my own limited ways to ‘help’ my all-powerful, unlimited God, then He is free to work in amazing ways. And apparently without my help, though He graciously invites my participation!

Waiting sifts us. It is a tool God uses in His process of sanctification. In the waiting, He is at work. When I truly believe that and align with His purposes, it can weed out impatience and resistance that naturally rises in wanting things my way and in my time. It shifts my focus to God’s ways and God’s timing. Sifting can actually occur either way, depending on me. Either I allow it to sift out the impurities of sins and flesh and leave the beauty behind, like panning for gold; or I can allow it to sift out my faith and leave me feeling empty, keeping the impurities behind while the soft, refined flour is sifted out. His methods are for our good but often the outcome can be hinged on our choices. Thankfully, even if we mess up, He is always at work to bring about a better good for us and in us. The sifting and the shifting can be so redemptive.

Because of Don’s chronic illness for 13 years, we have had much practice in patiently waiting – in waiting rooms, waiting to hear back from doctor’s and tests, waiting for relief from pain, waiting on God to provide what is needed for each moment. Wanting answers to our questions, seeking healing and fresh hope in dark, painfilled nights…..waiting and waiting. It has proven to sift us – sift out expectations and misguided theology, sift out what is really important in life and what is not. Much sifting, for which we are very grateful. And waiting on God keeps our eyes fixed on Him and is well worth it!

Waiting reveals the value we place on the One we are waiting for. One of the first things noted about love in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it is longsuffering, which adds layers of depth to the synonym ‘patient’. ‘Long’ is a relative term. How long is long anyway? When I am truly valuing whom I am waiting for, my focus is on that individual and not my inconvenience, etc. If I am impatient, tapping the toes of my soul, am I truly loving? Or does my patience-in-waiting make me even more attentive? Think about it – if I am waiting at the train station for the arrival of a loved one, I am not looking down at my phone, but rather straining my eyes to seek the arrival of the train, leaning in a little closer, straining my ears to hear the slightest clue, anticipating the reunion. It is not passive waiting but very active and attentive.

As I look at many people described in Scripture, their times of waiting produced deeper dependence and intimacy with God. So many people of faith had times and seasons and years and decades of waiting. Noah. Abraham and Sarah. Hannah. David. The people of Israel. Elizabeth and Zechariah. Maybe you and me. We all are waiting for something, aren’t we?

We continue waiting for the fullness of time – God’s time, not ours.

There’s much to ponder about the illustrations God graciously provides in nature:

• The lengthy process from seed to tree to fruit – it is worth waiting for.

• Fresh baked bread is worth the baking time. Can’t you smell it?

• Precious babies are well worth the time of pregnancy. The reward is well worth the time of waiting!

Waiting increases longing, anticipation and appreciation for what we wait for, a far cry from our instant gratitude expectation in our current culture.

Waiting is useful if we awaken to its call and are aware of the wonder in the waiting.

During this time of Advent, ponder this – HE IS TRULY WORTH THE WAIT! Then respond in adoration and worship.

Psalm 27:14  Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart be courageous.
Wait for the Lord.

Psalm 130:5. I wait for the Lord; I wait and put my hope in his word.

A few thoughts on Jeremiah 9:23,24

July 30, 2024

“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;

But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the Lord. Jeremiah 9:24 NKJV

Reading through the book of Jeremiah, the prophet known as the ‘weeping prophet’ I can see why he weeps. He grieves over the state of God’s people, once gloriously delivered from slavery, chosen as His own people to display the amazing wonders of God and His love, set apart from among all nations to bear His Name and delight in His presence. And yet they exchanged the Living Water for ’empty and polluted wells’. Following other gods. Abandoning His love. Not holding to His promises. How can one not weep and grieve? And as I weep with him, I realize that he speaks as the voice of God, his heart weeps with the heart of God, who also grieves. Seriously – what more could He do to show His love and to bless His people so that other people will also be blessed? 

But before I judge those people in that time period, I see how this scenario plays out not only historically in that nation, but also in the lives of those for whom He has shed His own blood, those He sought after and rescued from the kingdom of darkness and set on high as His chosen ones to bear the name of Christ. Me. Us. And how often we make the same type of exchange. We exchange the truth of God for a lie. We exchange His glory for trinkets and empty promises. We seek to satisfy our eternal spiritual hunger with temporal physical things that cannot even touch it.

I don’t want to be one who causes grief to God, of those who exchange the glory of who He is for something far ‘less than’…..……..

I will share a secret. One of the things that gets to me the most personally is being misunderstood and misrepresented, even maligned. Of the times I have experienced this, it is like a cut to my heart. Of course when it is someone who doesn’t know me, I can let it go more easily. But when it is someone I know and trust, it’s like a fresh wound to my heart. When my motives have been questioned, I have thought to myself, “If you really knew me, you would know I don’t do that, wouldn’t say that, or that I don’t even think that way.” I think about it and wonder how I could have said something differently, or how did this get so misconstrued? I find that I explain myself numerous times to be sure I am understood. 

How much more must God feel when I misapply His promises, misjudge His motives and misconclude about His ways! Then I truly miss Him! Jeremiah 9:23 and 24 speaks so clearly to this. Can you hear His heart cry seeking for those who really want to know Him, really want to understand His ways, and stand secure in the truth of His nature? He longs to be known and reveals Himself in infinite ways to those who look for Him, those who follow after Him, those who establish their lives based on who He is and how He has revealed Himself time and time again, namely His unconditional lovingkindness, His just judgments, and His righteousness. These are three of the infinite ways we can know Him, three He chose to describe Himself and upon which He bases His motives and actions. Those who seek to know Him in these ways delight Him. 

When in my bereft state of trying to understand God’s ways by looking through the lens of circumstances, thus questioning God and His ways because of the suffering or injustice or confusion I see around or inside me, I have a few ‘go-to’ declarations of truth about God. 

God, I know You are good. This doesn’t look good to me. Show me Your goodness.

God, I know You are loving. This doesn’t feel loving to me. Reveal to me Your love.

God, I know You are purposeful, based on Your loving and good nature. Lead me in how to stand when I don’t understand Your purposes.

These are just a few, but when I begin to remind myself of these facets of God’s faithful nature, as well as His infinite wisdom far beyond my comprehension, my spirit is quieted, maybe enough that I can see and hear what His Spirit wants to reveal to me. These are ways I get to know and understand Him just a bit more. It deepens my understanding by faith in who He has revealed Himself to be and allows me to lean into Him.

So what should our goal in life be from God’s perspective? We could answer any number of ways. Of all the things we can strive for on earth, the things for which we would like to be credited – (Jeremiah mentions wisdom, strength and riches, some of many things we often strive for) nothing, absolutely NOTHING compares to following what God has stated here. Our life aim is to know (through personal experience) and understand (‘to be prudent and circumspect’ circum =360 degree, spect=view) Him. We can’t even begin to fill our teacup of understanding in light of the ocean of all that He is. And in that knowing, we reflect His nature within ourselves and outwardly to the world who needs to see Him revealed as well. When I spend time with Him, experience the depths of His love and grow in my understanding and admiration for Him, my worship turns to emulating Him. We become what we behold! I want to be like Him and to make Him known to the world around me. This is how I want to be known and remembered. 

The Apostle Paul also reiterated this goal, desiring to consider as loss his past accomplishments in exchange that ‘I may know Him [experientially, becoming more thoroughly acquainted with Him, understanding the remarkable wonders of His Person more completely] and [in that same way experience] the power of His resurrection [which overflows and is active in believers], and [that I may share] the fellowship of His sufferings, by being continually conformed [inwardly into His likeness even] to His death [dying as He did]; ¹¹ so that I may attain to the resurrection [that will raise me] from the dead.’ Philippians 3:10, 11 Amp

I want to be one whose heart delights in God, a delight of God and one who delights in those things that delight Him……. That’s a lot of delight!

1 Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

be all else but naught to me, save that Thou art;

be Thou my best thought in the day and the night,

both waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light.

2 Be Thou my Wisdom, be Thou my true Word;

be Thou ever with me and I with Thee, Lord;

be Thou my great Father, and I Thy true son,

be Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

3 Be Thou my Breastplate, my Sword for the fight;

be Thou my whole Armor, be Thou my true Might;

be Thou my soul’s Shelter, be Thou my strong Tow’r,

O raise Thou me heav’nward, great Pow’r of my pow’r.

4 Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

be Thou mine inheritance, now and always;

be Thou and Thou only the first in my heart,

O High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

5 High King of heaven, Thou heaven’s bright Sun,

O grant me its joys, after vict’ry is won;

Great Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

still be Thou my Vision, O Ruler of all.

April 23 – May 18, 2024

Call to Prayer

Is anyone else looking at the tsunami of cultural shifts right in front of us, involving such hatred and confusion and division and wondering ‘How do I respond? How do I join You, Lord, in Your will? How do I pray?’ 

I look to the example of the disciples seeking for Jesus to teach them to pray and I echo it these scores of years later. 

So – I will be reciting the Lord’s Prayer at 5 pm everyday. Passover began yesterday and Pentecost is Sunday, May 19. This is the timeframe I choose to do this. This is an invitation for anyone to join. We, as those created in the wonder and image of God, can remotely and yet together join voices in unison.

Think about what that sounds like as it pierces our atmosphere and is raised toward the Lord. An anthem, a praise, a call to unity as we proclaim “Our Father…’, serving as a weapon against division and spiritual darkness. The enemy who seeks to divide cannot triumph against the unity of God’s people. Let’s not give him any room for division. 

We are not defined (or divided) by the color of our skin, our gender, the place where we were born, our economic status, our ability/disability… all of these are ways the enemy wants to steal our identity, unity, joy and power.  Yet he knows he is powerless against the mobilized prayers and praises of God’s people in one accord. 

We are defined by Our Father, Creator and Redeemer. We belong to His family. We belong to Him. This is who we are.

PS So, yeah, I guess its the teacher in me – (hopefully the capital “T” Teacher in me) but I wanted to add:

What this is NOT –

This is not about legalism. Do not recite it rotely without thought over each phrase

This is not a ‘special charm’ seeking for God’s hand of favor.

What it IS – 

This is about seeking to follow Christ’s teaching specifically about prayer. We are seeking His face.

This is about seeking and aligning our hearts with HIS.

So, as I pray, I will pause after each phrase and join with Jesus in mind and spirit and heart.

“Lord, teach us to pray…” The Greek word for ‘pray’ is proseuchomai “literally, to interact with the Lord by switching human wishes (ideas) for His wishes as He imparts faith (“divine persuasion”). (Strongs)

This is the kind of praying we need to be doing. Anything less is just sharing ‘wishful thinking’, but exchanging our thinking and aligning with HIS desire and purposes is POWERFUL!!

Our Father……

Which art in heaven…..

Hallowed be Thy Name…..

Thy kingdom come…..

Thy will be done on earth….

as it is in heaven….

Give us this day our daily bread…

And forgive us our debts….

As we forgive our debtors…

And lead us not into temptation….

but deliver us from evil……….

FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM…..

AND THE POWER….

AND THE GLORY FOREVER….

AMEN…………..

If you join me each day reciting these precious words of life, in order to be more mindful and responsive, I will break it into phrases each day, adding a few thoughts to pray back to Him. But they are meant to deepen and root the phrases deeper into my heart. I hope as you pray, you will also meditate on the phrases in His prayer and pray those thoughts back to Him that the Spirit brings to YOUR mind. 

As we pray the prayer Jesus gave as a model, we are changed. Transformed. Our minds become open to seeing as He does, our hearts embrace feeling what He does for others. We see God as He is. We receive His truth and His direction. It is a gift He gave us to lead and guide us through life. It is something precious He entrusted to us, something with meaning, something with purpose. Something not recited mindlessly, but mindfully. Daily. 

We can join Him in His heart to change the world – His words, our voice – one prayer at a time. 

Meditation #1

“OUR FATHER….”

I think about all the names You could have begun with (Creator, Redeemer, Sovereign, Lord…) yet You, Jesus, draw me in to relate to God as my Father, just as You did, describing a close bonding relationship. 

My loving Father is approachable. 

You are my Father. Mine, wholly and completely. I am not alone. I am not fatherless. I belong to You. 

Your heart is for me, inclined to me, available constantly. All those things that describe and celebrate a good, loving, kind, providing, protective father are true of You. You can’t NOT be any of those. And You are so much more! As my Father, I have my identity in You. I am Yours, You are mine. Fully mine.

Fully – and yet not solely. You are not only mine alone. My heart that is sadly inclined to “me, myself and I” shares You with others. In a world of selfishness found in my own heart and the hearts of us all, You chose to be ‘our’ Father. You are our common heritage. You join us in a way nothing else on earth can, transcending that which is seen and physical. Your ‘Father arms’ are open to all those You have created in Your image. You created each of us each with a human spirit, ready to be revived by Your own eternal Spirit. No one is outside of Your touch, Your heart, Your love. 

So we as Your disciples and family, pray to You, our Father, in unison. We choose to join ourselves to You with one voice and one heart, to the One who is our Father. Let Your love for us and our love for You bring us together – all peoples, tribes, nations, tongues. We pray along with Jesus’ prayer that we be one as You are One with Jesus and the Spirit. One with another in spirit, one with You. Without division. ALL coming as one before OUR Father, ready as Your children to follow Your voice and purpose and example and will.

Our Father – invited to join in fellowship and kinship as Your forever family.

Meditation #2

WHICH ART IN HEAVEN….

Yes, You clearly reveal the distinction between our fathers on earth and our Heavenly Father. Thank You, Father, for setting the standard, one which no one can reach on earth but yet it is one that inspires us to aspire to.

You are a GOOD Father. You set the standard for goodness. You always have our best in mind, even to Your own hurt and sacrifice, beautifully demonstrated on the cross. You provide for us in more ways than we realize, in big ways, small ways and behind the scenes ways. You amply provide circumstances to equip us, to strengthen and establish us in our faith walk, though we often question and doubt Your love as we walk in those ways. But because You are good, Your heart is to bring out the good in us and through us. 

You are kind, You are love, You are life.

You protect, provide, plan and purpose all things to work together for wholeness and wholesomeness and ask us to walk by faith and not sight in the process.

You are set apart from our earthly fathers; ones who fail at meeting Your Holy Father standard. Many try and fail, and many fail and don’t try. Many have hurt their children badly. Many have carried their own hurts and pas them along in this broken world. May we find it in our hearts to forgive them for not being You or acting more like You, our perfect Father.

But as our Heavenly Father, we all stand equally in Your love and promise no matter what our earthly father may have been like. You seek us out. You comfort us.  You renew our minds, restore our hearts, regenerate our spirits and rescue us from our own selfish ways. No earthly father can do that for us. You adopt us into Your forever family and no one can remove Your love from us. 

Yes, thank You for being our Father in Heaven, above the powers of the world. You are not untouched by those things that touch us, but You are not subject to any earthly power. You see it all, when we see only in part. 

By You all things exist, live, breathe and have our being. 

Thank You for being our Father in Heaven………….“With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.” – A.W. Tozer- A man of God 

Meditation #3 –

HALLOWED BE THY NAME

Lord, Elohim, Adonai, Yahweh, God…

Jehovah-Jireh, Jehovah-rapha ….

Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace…

You are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords

Your name is higher than any other name.

You have infinite names that describe infinite facets of Your nature.

You alone deserve first and primary place in my heart. As we hallow Your name, we set it apart from any other. We do not treat it as ordinary or common, or even use it in anger. It is high and holy, Lord, and deserves sacred reverence because it is a reflection of You. 

You, set apart and high above all other names or powers, have none that comes close to compete with You. And You need nothing to complete who You are. You are fully whole. Out of Your perfection and holiness and love, You bring wholeness to our dark and broken world, and complete the broken, sinful places in our lives because You long for relationship with us. You have gone to great sacrificial lengths to give us Your name and the authority that goes with it. Amazing love! How can it be, that Thou, my God, should’st die for me? 

There is none that compares or even comes close to You. Thank You for revealing Yourself through Your many names, Your many qualities found in Your hallowed, holy, high-above-anything-ordinary name. You are not a nameless being, but One Whom we can know by name, and live by Your name. We respond to You and lift Your name high, magnify and elevate it so Your glory can shine through.

Forgive us for elevating anything else in our mind, whether individual, or agenda, or creed or dream. We take captive anything that lifts up itself in competition to You. 

We hallow Your Name and we hallow You.

Meditation #4

YOUR KINGDOM COME, Lord. 

Yours. Not mine. Not others. No ideological, geographical or political group or party has claim on it, though it is available to all who desire to become a citizen of Your kingdom. Thankfully, Your kingdom is high above any earthly kingdom where people vie for power and control over one another, and where fear and pride rules, and has sadly been so since the fall in Eden. Because of our selfishness, we truly are unable to govern ourselves without Your Spirit. Without You as King in our hearts.

We long for Your kingdom where we offer honor and praise for You, our Savior-King, out of love and gratitude, not out of fear. 

‘My kingdom is not of this world,’ You told Pilate. 

You rule Your kingdom in: 

Truth – not based on the shifting sands of public opinion or earthly sub-standards

Righteous judgment – we look on outward appearances and wrongly ascribe motives and make sweeping judgments based on what we see, but You, our Father and King, know our hearts. Your judgments are true. You alone can truly see the hearts and motives of all on earth. None is hidden to You. 

Love and grace – the law of love is the law of Your kingdom. You emulate and cultivate a culture to bless and bring out the best in and through each of the citizens in Your kingdom. Forgiveness and redemptive ways bring forth the fruit and the freedom we experience in Your kingdom!

Praise – we were made for praise. We were made to worship the One greater than ourselves. You alone are worthy of our praise. We praise You, our King. 

We were made for love. We were made for truth. We were made for relationship – with You, and with others created in Your image. 

In Your kingdom we join hands with those of all different shades, abilities, sizes, capacities and anything else that separates us on earth. We raise our voices not against one another, but to You in worship and praise – from every tribe and tongue and people and nation. Our eyes will be on You alone.  Our hands will be raised to You in worship and not in fists or fingers pointed against one another. You alone are the focus of our hearts, hearts free from sin and self, hearts joined in unity. This is the promise of Your kingdom.

Yes, Lord, may Your kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven!

Meditation #5

THY WILL BE DONE

ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

Your will. Not mine, not the ‘will of the people’, not any random will. Yours. Alone. No more, no less, no different.

Lord, forgive me when I question Your will, an indication of my lack of trust in You. You, who alone are worthy of all my trust. You Who created me, designed me after Your image to walk in Your ways. Yet, it is doubt that blinds me and binds me from fully walking in truth and freedom to follow You.

I confess that I have not grown up liking the words obey or submit. To put my ‘will’ under that of another? 

Yet as my King who literally gave Your life for me, my grateful response is to honor You and serve You with my allegiance. To come under the wisdom and magnitude of Your mission in exchange for my own selfish mission of protecting myself. But, when You remind me of the truths of who You are, You created a pathway for me to take Your hand and follow You in humility and trust. Obedience to You is an evidence of my trust in You. 

Not because I have to, but because I get to as an act of worship, a demonstration of love.

This commitment to Your will is a demonstration of trust in You and Your ways, and flies in the face of why Satan and his following were banished from You in heaven. Satan did not want Your will, he wanted his own. He did not want to be under You, but wanted his own rule and sought his own glory. The outcome of his rejection of You as King of Kings and Lord of Lords is evident when he tempts humanity on earth. When Adam and Eve chose their own will rather than Yours a curse came upon the whole earth with sin and shame and death. Even though Your heart and will has been to bless Your creation and people through our aligning with Your holy ways and purposes, we continually spiral away from You and Your wisdom and righteousness and choose our own way. Sin is literally choosing our independent ways, and not Your will and Authority as king. 

So we cry together and declare that Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Meditation #6

“Thy will be done’ (continued) –

You are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Your name is higher than anything that lifts its head against You. I can rest in Your might and deliverance – and in the wisdom and power of Your will and purposes on earth.

Your love has captured my heart, but it can sometimes be a battleground of wills. Free me so You can rule uncontested in my heart. Free me from any voice or vice or will grasping for control and exerting against Your own. I yield my right to pick the rules I follow, make my own rules, or determine the conditions through which I choose to follow Your chosen assignment for me.

Yielding my ‘rights’ to You is an act of live, of faith and of worship. This is what it means to be loved and to abide in it, this is what it means to trust and obey, to walk in true freedom and discover the path to peace and fulfillment in responding to Your invitation to follow Your mission. This is the pathway to true joy.

May Your will be done unreservedly in and through me.

You are my holy example, as found in another “Lord’s prayer” that You prayed in Gethsemane, when You yielded Your will to the Father’s as You were faced with gruesome suffering and death. You did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but came as our Servant and therefore rose in authority. Authority through obedience to the Father, demonstrated through servanthood and sacrifice. You revealed Your complete trust in the Father’s plan when You proclaimed, “Not My will, but Thine be done.” 

May this also be my declaration.

‘As You wish, Lord’

Thy will be done.

As is Your will in heaven, so let it be in my heart, and in the world around me.

We are given a crafted model of prayer by Jesus Himself. One which honors God, shows love to others and positions ourselves to be His salt and light on the earth. 

As we pray this in unity, daily, thoughtfully and heart-fully, I pray it will accomplish much in bringing revival and unity to His people and spiritual awareness in the darkness. The enemy knows the power of unity, of obedience, of worship,  and of forgiveness, and will literally stop at nothing to divide us and cause us to distrust God and one another. His strategies have not changed. 

But our posture is in opposition to his schemes.

Meditation #7

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD – 

Give us this day our daily bread….Thank You out of Your wisdom giving us a need for daily sustenance – and then filling that need from Your own provision; for reminding me that You are my Source. You provide all that I need, in fact You know my needs before I do and are way ahead of me. Your Father heart is to provide for Your children, Your kingly heart is generous in all Your ways.

May we be led by faith in Your goodness and generosity and provision and not driven by fear. You provide not only physical bread but spiritual Bread and manna – You, Yourself are the BREAD OF LIFE broken for us. May we not feed on the crumbs the world has to offer so that we are not hungry for You and Your manna. May our hunger for YOU ever increase and our hunger for anything else decrease.

Meditation #8 

AND FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS AS WE FORGIVE OUR DEBTORS

Kind of lengthy but a very broad subject. And critical one. 

Matt 6:12,14 Amplified version

‘And forgive (to discharge, ‘send away”) us our debts (“something owed”), as we have forgiven our debtors [choosing to let go of both the wrong and the resentment].

(14 For if you forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.)

Lord, forgiveness is hard! To take the offenses of another and ask You to take it requires me thinking of them and You, and not counting myself. It takes love! Of course You know that more than any! And yet by Your design, forgiveness toward others is the key to my own freedom! It is the universal key to the freedom we all need, without exception. As I take Your model prayer to heart, I  tremble to think that in this prayer You are telling us to ask You to forgive us in the same way we forgive others. You call me to love others in the same manner as You have loved me, but here You have transposed it and added another layer. What wisdom You use to ensure that I forgive others in the same manner You forgive me! 

And what manner is that?  

Your forgiveness is:

sacrificial, complete and whole, without condition

and available even before I acknowledge and ask.

My human forgiveness falls short of that. Human nature wants others to ‘pay’ for their offenses. Divine nature literally pays the debt owed. I need Your divine power in order to forgive. I cannot fully forgive on my own. What You ask is also what You provide.

How can I even consider the faults, shortcomings and offenses of others when I measure it against how I am in need of Your ongoing daily forgiveness? You not only release me from the debt of my sin, but You paid for it by offering Your own pure life. 

Before I can forgive, I need to see myself as You do in humility, and see others as You do in compassion.

May I never withhold forgiveness from others, stopping the flowing fountain of Your life toward them. If I dare to stop the flow of being Your instrument to bring freedom to others, I in effect enslave myself! 

Freely You have given to us, so that freely we can give to others. 

Thank You for Your forgiveness which is offered generously. May I be a vessel through which You extend Your for-giveness – a giving forward of releasing blessing and freedom to others through such a beautiful and divine act. Thank You for this gift that sets us apart from most other religions, creed and beliefs in the world.

You know we all need it more than life itself. 

Forgiveness is one of the most precious gifts to receive and to offer to others – there is nothing to compare to its power! Wars would cease, neighbors and families would be reconciled and the reaches of darkness would be quelled by the light of forgiveness, and the joy and freedom of being forgiven.

Help us forgive ourselves. Help us forgive others.

Forgive us for the many ways we personally, and as a nation, have sinned against You. Lord, we have so much to repent for as Your people, called by Your name. And as a nation once set apart as a city on a hill.

Meditation #9

…and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil….

We know Your leading is not into temptation but providing Your power through it, or leading us  through an ‘escape’ away from it. Satan would like us to live in doubt of that, for us to consider Your nature questionable or Your power ineffective. You lead in paths of righteousness, and You also provide ample opportunities to test my faith in the face of temptation to either cave in to fear or run to comfort that is outside Your path. You know my vulnerabilities and Your heart is set on establishing me totally and completely in You, 

resisting temptation with Your path of escape, and

standing victoriously in the face of trials and afflictions.

You know my frame and provide me with the same words to utter as Jesus, “May this cup pass from me…but nevertheless not my will, but Yours be done.” These are not words of weakness, but words of strength! You allow me to recognize my poorness in spirit, my inability to stand on my own power, my calling to You to relieve the pressing in of trial or temptation. You are the only One who can! YOU are my source of strength.

You as my Guide will never lead me into temptation, but You as my DELIVERER will always provide the way around it, through it in victory or out in that divine way of escape because You have given me everything I need for life and Godliness by giving me the Holy Spirit within. ‘Greater is He within me than he that is in the world’ is an anchor for my spirit. I cling to the promised One committed to my fruitfulness as You deliver me from the evil one bent on my destruction.

And this model prayer is for Your family, a collective prayer of unity.

Lead US as Your people to not be tempted to leave You and follow the ways of the world.

Lead US to stand in unity, looking solely to You, worshiping solely at Your feet, calling upon You together in repentance, seeking Your justice and deliverance, and not the ways of man. 

Deliver us from the evil one whose strategy is to divide and conquer, to steal our Christ-redeemed identities, our peace, our joy, and our power. 

Deliver us from his deceptions, his working to divide brothers and sisters in Your family.

In unity. In heart. In prayerful posture.

I praise You FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM

Meditation #10

In all the vying for kingdom power on a world-wide scale or even those who desire to ‘rule’ and control a personal kingdom, You reign high and above all earthy desires and powers and authorities. There is none who come close to matching You. 

Yours is the KINGDOM – we declare ourselves under Your rule and authority, humbly and yet confidently and with hearts of worship before Your throne. Abiding in Your kingdom principles 

AND THE POWER  – Abiding in Your Word and Spirit which empowers us to accomplish Your purposes on earth as it is in heaven, breaking down strongholds and lifting You up

AND THE GLORY FOREVER – bringing You glory as Your glorious light and love and peace cascades and is shed abroad in and through our hearts. 

Amen

O my soul, come, praise the Eternal
    with all that is in me—body, emotions, mind, and will—every part of who I am—
    praise His holy name.

O my soul, come, praise the Eternal;
    sing a song from a grateful heart;
    sing and never forget all the good He has done.

Despite all your many offenses, He forgives and releases you.
    More than any doctor, He heals your diseases.

He reaches deep into the pit to deliver you from death.
    He crowns you with unfailing love and compassion like a king. 

When your soul is famished and withering,
    He fills you with good and beautiful things, satisfying you as long as you live.
    He makes you strong like an eagle, restoring your youth.

When people are crushed, wronged, enslaved, raped, murdered,
    the Eternal is just;
    He makes the wrongs right…..Psalm 103:1-6 Voice

So, in light of not forgetting His benefits, I would like to share a quick update as much has occurred since my stairway fall in the Fall.  As well as a brief update on Don.

Don has been steadily improving in stamina, and his capacity to do work around the home has increased. He keeps up with the yard like a boss! His bouts with dizziness and balance continue but are not as debilitating. He may need some additional PT to help. On the upside, he has had numerous opportunities to engage in something he loves best – teaching and imparting truths from God’s Word. It is so rewarding to see him flow as he has in the past and see the fruit it brings to others. God is so faithful!

As for me, I believe I mentioned this in my last entry how there were many needful decisions and events throughout the summer and even into October where I had to live in my ‘head’ and not give place to my heart, so this is a recap as well as an update. I had difficulty sorting through mom’s things and would procrastinate spending much time at her place. I was blessed to have a getaway from the Friday immediately following Thanksgiving and over that weekend, returning on Monday. It was needful for me, as I had not given myself time to grieve the passing of my mom. The retreat is a large house, underwritten by various individuals and agencies specific to caregivers, and since I fit the profile times 3, I had been placing my name on the waitlist, which is several months to a year long. So, it ‘just so happened’ in the fullness of God’s time, that there was a cancellation for that weekend, and the name of the room was ‘Cynthia’s Chance.’ Hmmmm – there are times when I wonder if I am really hearing from God, but this time when God invited, He really made it crystal clear! While I was at the retreat that weekend, God met me through our many walks and talks together, just He and I, and allowing place and space for crying and watercolor and journaling. As I drove home, I felt ready to tackle her place in earnest. The following day, November 28, 2023, I fell off the last step in our stairway, breaking my foot in 3 places and severely spraining my ankle. So then, besides being off my feet for over a month, I needed to stay at my mom’s apartment since it is a single level. Really, God??

And so, He ministered to my body, soul and spirit as I realized my need to rest in all of those areas. He truly knows best – why do I ever question? 

Forget none of His benefits ……

There have been many benefits, some I will try to capture here. Many are still being developed in my heart.  Don and I exchanged roles while my ankle/foot has been recovering. Humbling for me, stretching for him. Little did we know how this stretching was also instrumental in strengthening him. How gracious is our God to redeem the challenges we face in life. He creatively uses anything to bring His good purposes forth.

As I mentioned, mom’s apartment had been a place I would avoid being in for long as it represented sad memories of her passing. And yet, over this time it truly has become a sanctuary for me, a place I enjoy being in and feel His presence. Only God does such amazing work!

So, catch up to today. I have been through the stages of healing and PT has been very difficult but very effective. I still have another month but am improving steadily. Who knew a 4 second slip would take 6 months of my life to adjust and heal. We live such a parable, don’t we? Healing, whether physical or otherwise, takes time and intention to seek to see from God’s perspective. It takes both rest and work, but the rewards are to see His graces, His benefits, as He reveals more of Himself and His unsearchable ways.

This week will be the first Mother’s Day and my mom’s birthday without her. The lilies of the valley, her favorite flower, have been in full bloom, reminding me of her favorite fragrance and how I would pick them and bring them inside for her delight. So I still pick them, and am giving them to neighbors who I happen to see outside. Her legacy lives on. It is a challenging month as it is another ‘first’ and feels more weighty than other holidays this past year. Being mother of adult children, being a daughter without a mother present brings on many vulnerable and tender feelings this Mother’s Day.

So, as an added distraction, the surgery for the basal cell under my eye is set for this Friday, May 10. It is fairly extensive since it is such a delicate area right over my tear duct. Maybe shedding tears is not an option for the next several days after surgery. Several years ago, basal cell showed up in the same area, and I had gone prepared for the scheduled surgery that morning. To my delight and his consternation and surprise, the surgeon spent a great deal of time looking for it (picture the very large magnifying glass and bright light over that area), and even called in the dermatologist who originally flagged it – but they couldn’t find it; it was gone!  They had no explanation, but of course we know 😉 and I told them many had been praying and I believed God healed it. Oh, that God would do that again! In any event, we would appreciate your prayers. 

Thank you again for the many ways you carry us in your prayers and in your hearts. May God make His face shine upon you and give you His shalom – peace and wholeness. 

And may you also join in remembering His many benefits to you as well.

No, this is not my opportunity as an extra for Star Wars.

Yes, I did fall at the end of November and God could have prevented it. But He didn’t. 

Yes, God could have healed the 3 bone fractures and the bone marrow bruising (who knew?) and the profound spraining of the ligaments. But He didn’t. 

Yes, I missed the time of year I love to attend Christmas specials and craft shows and teas with friends, etc. – but I couldn’t. 

Here is the beginning of a new year and I am looking at possibly months of therapy to restore what occurred in my 3-second moment when I missed the last step in my home. 

This is the state of my life. This on top of a year of loss. 

But, please hear this …. I don’t write this for sympathy. I write this to acknowledge what is before me and not dismiss, stuff or wallow in pity and frustration. It is merely an assessment exercise. Counting losses. But acknowledging is not the same as hyper focusing. And I am choosing not to focus there. 

My focus? I raise a Hallelujah. A declaration of God’s goodness when that could come into question about His goodness and love and even ability. And doesn’t the accuser acting as prosecutor who loves to instill doubt against God want to use this opportunity to stir it into the mix. But I refuse.

I refuse because it is also an opportunity for the Spirit of the Living God to use to teach, to comfort, to apply grace and expand my capacity to tune in to a broader purpose. 

Opportunity denotes a choice.

And I choose to raise a Hallelujah. 

And so I choose to begin counting gains, while acknowledging losses and limitations.  So what have I gained? Here are some of the many gifts of grace –

• I am leaning more on Him as I see how many things that normally have distracted me have no hold since I am limited in response to them. No, I can’t just run out to an after-Christmas sale or to the store for a needed grocery item.

• I am learning more of the humility of dependence upon others for my needs. I can’t even get myself a cup of water. Don and I literally have reversed roles. Interesting place to be and I don’t like it. I don’t like inconveniencing him; I like to be the one to help. And yet here I am. I live it. And in living it, I am learning much about myself. About the grace of God that I might not see otherwise, a grace I would literally miss.

• I am seeing how when one member suffers we all do. Though my ankle is greatly supported, my back aches because the reinforced boot is a different height than my walking shoe. I have to adjust my normal walk to fit the needs of the affected part but it adds stress and imbalance to the other parts. 

• I have more space in my life to listen and enjoy a simpler pace. Time and limits have been imposed by a loving Father who knows my desire to see a need or a wish and start running (nope, no running now!) either in my racing fix-it thoughts or body to fulfill it. (This is not a treatise on whether God ’causes’ bad things to happen; that is not what I am saying. I am saying He will use anything that comes upon us in this broken world for good. And choosing to look for, and see, His goodness is a grace). But a pause is needed. A time to consider. A time of rest that God knows I need more than I would admit. How very gracious of Him.
• Are all needs meant for me to fulfill? At this point I can ‘only‘ pray instead of running (hobbling) ahead to fix it. Why do I use ‘just‘ and ‘only‘ before I talk about prayer? Wishing I ‘could do more‘? Do more than what? Do ‘more’ than listening to God’s Spirit communicate with mine so I agree on His will on earth as it is in heaven? Do ‘more’ than trusting God to either create an opportunity for me or others to be involved, or to handle it as He sees fit? Do more than calling upon the Spirit of the Living God to intervene in a situation He has made me aware of or placed on my heart? Yes, prayer is always needed (and primary) and so is action, based on the response to the prompting of God. But if my action is limited, HE is not limited to His response to the need as I am. HIS arm is not too short, though my walking may be at present. So though I would pray before when I was aware of a need, my prayer carries the full bulk of faith in how He will meet what is needed, with or without my action. There is a time for everything under heaven…

• This is an opportunity to celebrate the joy of first steps, baby steps as I step out. Not running. But stepping into a new day, a new goal. I am much more aware of what it takes to step and walk.

• Taking this opportunity to adjust expectations. Taking life one day at a time. And breathe….

• Taking this opportunity to be present in the process, whatever it is. Taking time to do things I have left behind. Taking an online class. Reading. Playing piano. These are things I don’t always give place to, but they are things that restore my spirit.

• Taking this opportunity to exchange loss for gain. Exchanging busyness for respite. Exchanging noise for quiet listening. 

• Taking this opportunity to practice contentment and gratitude. Of course practice is the operative word. But there is such joy in that. What a beautiful grace we have been given.

So in this process, I get to see grace all over this. Thank You, Lord, for Your creative works of grace. How You can take the challenges and reveal Your goodness is truly a grace.

May I never miss the graces You have for me everyday.

An invitation to come and consider 

the lavish,

 generous, 

abundant heart of God  

In the beginning….

God planned for us to BE, to live, to love, to experience the wonders of life to the fullest. God created the heavens and the earth – all things have been created by Him and for Him.

He didn’t have to give us the arrays of beauty in the color wheel, all the hues and nuanced brights and darks. He didn’t have to offer us the bright hopeful colors of sunrises and the calming beauty of sunsets – of the skies and majestic mountains and wonders of nature…

But He did.

He didn’t have to give us all the sounds of the ocean, and rivers, and birds singing, and crickets chirping and hyenas laughing and mules braying and kittens purring; and what about the flowing poetry and lilting music in all its forms and glory and how it expresses that which our hearts can barely speak … 

But He did.

He didn’t have to provide all the amazing smells around us – the scents of each individual flower, the ability to copy and transform them into fragrant perfumes and candles; the spices and herbs that are not only medicinal but tempt our senses and prepare our palates ….

But He did.

He didn’t have to provide all the wonders of food. We literally could just be filled up and head out like cars, without all the myriads of taste and textures from each corner of the world. Sauces and sweets and savories and you name it- things that tingle and crunch and provide smooth creamy ‘heavenly’ tastes for our pleasure. 

But He did.

He didn’t have to give us the human bonds of brotherhood and the sweet lullabies of motherhood as we gently plant sweet kisses on the heads of babies, our hearts swelling full of love….or a shoulder of comfort to lean on and offer strength or a hug as a token of friendship and love. 

But He did.

He didn’t have to create humans in His image so we could relate and respond and commune with Him like none other in creation. He didn’t have to design a space for our spirits to rise in worship or a place to lament in healthy ways as we experience the challenges of life in a broken world….or minds to reason and invent and expand in our knowledge of our world.

But He did.

When Adam and Eve made a choice to listen to a voice other than His, to trust the words of the father of lies rather than the Father of Life, He could have chosen to never speak again. 

But He didn’t.

When the first created people sinned and set the stage and then all people followed in the same dark, destructive path, He could have written us off, scrapped His desire for intimacy with His created ones, and began anew.

But He didn’t.

He didn’t have to provide us with the life of His Son to live with and among us and show a life of example, of purity, of wholeness of grace and truth, performing miracles and lifting our eyes and spirits heavenward. In His righteousness and holiness, He could have destined us to a deserved judgment of eternal death in hell.

But He didn’t.

In His love, He lavishly demonstrated it toward us while we were yet sinners – 

As if that wasn’t enough, we were given His Son who offered not only His life on earth, but His life in death as a sacrifice to rescue us in ways we desperately needed but had no way to achieve. 

And if that wasn’t enough, His Son who rose in victory over our enemy Satan, the ravages of the broken world, the curse of sin, and shame and death – He also sent to us the Holy Spirit to not only be WITH us but to be WITHIN us, never to leave. He not only promises never to abandon us, but also provides comfort, strength, discernment, hope, conviction, teaching and leading us further into the image of Jesus. And so much more.

And if that wasn’t enough, we are offered eternal life in heaven, where God lives, where there is only light and life and love and purpose and joy and peace and no pain or sickness or sin or death.

And this is only what we know about this mysterious, incomprehensible, loving, yet eternal God who lives in infinite revelation of His holiness and character. 

There is so much more yet to be revealed than what we already know.  

“Things which the eye has not seen and the ear has not heard,
And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him [who hold Him in affectionate reverence, who obey Him, and who gratefully recognize the benefits that He has bestowed].”

 For God has unveiled them and revealed them to us through the [Holy] Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things [diligently], even [sounding and measuring] the [profound] depths of God                                     [the divine counsels and things far beyond human understanding].                                                For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him?                So also no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.                                          Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the [Holy] Spirit who is from God, so that we may know and understand the [wonderful] things freely given to us by God. 13 We also speak of these things, not in words taught or supplied by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit,                           combining and interpreting spiritual thoughts with spiritual words [for those being guided by the Holy Spirit]. 1 Corinthians 2:9-13 AMP

During her last days, Mom’s hands  – hands which were always busy and diligent to do whatever was needed, obedient to whatever the call of Christ was upon her, now became fidgety. Was this her eternal spirit longing to be free from this body which housed it so faithfully these 94 years? As I sat with her I would hold them and massage them. I will let you listen in on one of our final times together.

“Mom, these hands have been gentle all my life – these hands have gently rocked us as kids and cleaned out our booboos. And then have done the same for our children.

These hands have beautifully played the violin, pouring forth the song of praise within your heart as you shared your gift with others.

These hands have been resourceful – sewing and crafting things out of scraps and using the creativity God gave you for the benefit of others.

These hands have opened hundreds of books, feeding your intelligence and thirst to understand life and the world around you – and then excitedly sharing the books and the knowledge gleaned with others.

These hands have written likely thousands of cards, letters and checks as you generously and intuitively lifted others up and supported them in caring ways. They have written countless notes – I find them inside your Bible and all throughout your apartment of the treasures you find and the joy in wanting to teach others the truths you’ve discovered.

These hands have labored in preparing many meals, not only for your family, but in hospitality for any visiting missionary welcome to our home growing up, and countless meals provided for others in need.

These hands busy all throughout your life, were also folded quietly in prayer as you lifted up so many to Our Father in heaven. Your prayers have sustained me and countless others in known and unknown ways.

And now these hands are anxious to reach out and grasp the hand of Jesus who is reaching for you. 

Go ahead, Mom, take His hand.

And as you arrive in heaven, these hands will embrace all your loved ones who have gone before; they will spontaneously lift up in praise to God.  Remember to save us a place at the banquet table for I look forward to joining you there.”

You have heard that it has been said ………..but I say………..

In Matthew 5 it is recorded that Jesus spoke this over and over to His listeners, outlining what they had heard and comparing it to His words of life. He, as the Truth, spoke with authority.  He appeals to us today as well, to heed (meaning to listen to and follow) His words. How important for us to embrace this model. Yes, we hear so many things, often in direct or implied contradiction to what we know, understand, or even to what was previously touted as ‘truth’. These things must be measured against what He says.

We are daily, hourly, being immersed with the opinions and ‘facts’ of others in the world which puts our discernment at risk.  These tensions influence us without our even knowing it. We have heard MANY things being said. Everyone feels they have a valid opinion, everyone sees what they deem ‘truth’ through their own experience. And then do ‘what is right in their own eyes,” having lost or dismissed the spiritual compass of God’s Word. With all of this noise surrounding us in the world, it is difficult to remain impartial, or to not get cynical wondering if anyone speaks truth and is worthy of our trust.

And in our own personal circle, too often it is overlooked that there may just be another perspective on any given situation. When we hear one account, we are instantly swayed and conclusions are drawn. Yet Solomon in his wisdom reminded us that there is more than one way to look at a situation and often our judgment and understanding can be broadened when we seek to at least question ‘the other side’ for clarity.  ‘In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.’ (Proverbs 18:17). We have probably all experienced having been personally misrepresented, and our perspective not sought to clarify. I know I have, and it really stings, doesn’t it? How much more must God feel, when we are surrounded and often influenced by the opinions of others, yet His is the ONLY TRUE perspective! His is the lens through which we must peer to get a sense of truth and perspective.

So, consider what you have heard – but then seek out and measure it against God’s eternal, all-wise, Spirit breathed perspective. “But I say…. We need to grow rich in discernment as the cultural lines between right and wrong blur and the spiritual darkness seeks to hide His face. All things need to be brought to His light for true understanding – whether it is the news, the opinions of others or even our own personal feelings and perspectives. What He says brings truth, and life, and light. Since we are called to be the lights in the world, by the True Light of the world, we need Him to shed His light on any subject. How else will any not of the Light be able to find their way? What are some qualities of light?

Light separates out and pierces the darkness.

Light brings insight and understanding.

Light brings hope and guidance, like the light to our path.

As we let our light shine, others will see our good works and glorify God in heaven.

What Jesus says matters. I love that Jesus came in grace and truth in perfect measure. Just like a cup of hot tea, grace and truth swirl together and are inseparable. In a world where grace is withheld and truth is questioned or dismissed, it is ever more important that we live out His grace and are guided by His truth, which anchors our souls, and provides a doorway for others to see Him. May we always follow His words, no matter what others may speak or how convincing it may seem; may we always listen to His invitation to hear “…but I say.”