Category: Blogpost

“I have told you these things, so that in Me (a fixed place) you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]” John 16:33

I was given an Ipod which I used for over a year, listening to music while I cleaned houses for my job. Jordon picked it up and within 5 minutes was taking pictures, videos, and playing games on it!! I had no idea it had so much to offer. I was content to use it for what I thought was its purpose. But content no longer once I found out more! Now I wonder how much more it can do.

In the same way, I continue to ponder about the abundant life that has been given to me. How much of its untapped possibilities and unlimited opportunities to really get to know God and use the power He’s given do I miss out on? How often do I feel “stuck” because of circumstances that limit me – whether it’s personal health issues or the concerns I carry as a caregiver for Don, Mom and my children? I am amazed that the more we enter the “narrow” path God has us on, the broader and wider and longer and higher things we experience of God.

In the world – tribulation, pressure. In Him – peace.

I looked up “tribulation” in HELPS  and found thlipsos means” rub together, constrict (compress), i.e. like when circumstances “rub us the wrong way” that make us feel confined (hemmed in); restricted to a “narrow” place.” But it is in THAT place, He tells me to take courage. But it’s not based on feeling courageous. It’s based on the FACT that He has overcome/subdued the world. It’s done, Cindy! Finished! Completed!

Even when I feel incomplete, Lord, undone, hemmed in?

Absolutely! There is no reason to question or shrink back. Your peace is in ME, but it is untapped (even more than the Ipod) until you enter in. It is unlimited despite your feeling limited.

As I look upon the predictions for turmoil in the world, I am thankful for the “exercise” and practice drills in overcoming with opportunities especially over the last year. Thankful for life-experienced object lessons to grow in faith, though they wouldn’t be the ones I would have chosen (couldn’t we just skip this chapter, Lord?). Thankful for the sense of community built upon the testimonies of God’s faithfulness. And thankful for the peace found in Him.

Either overcome, or be overcome

“I have told you these things, so that in Me (a fixed place) you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]” John 16:33

In the world, trouble, trials, distress.

In ME, peace, confidence, cheer.

As I watched the families at Joni&Friends camp affected by disability and listened to their stories, I was struck by the magnitude of what the Lord had entrusted to them. They had health challenges, social challenges, marital challenges (8 out of 10 marriages in families affected by disability don’t thrive or survive) and giants of many sizes on many fronts. How do they keep going, Lord? “I have given them an overcoming Spirit – and also things to overcome to reveal Him and produce My undaunted peace in the midst of the distress.” Some were entrusted with many things to overcome, and through them discovered the love and strength of the Overcomer of all. Through Him, every small inch of progress is something to be celebrated. In Him, nothing is taken for granted.

As I marveled at these often unnoticed heroes, our own troubles didn’t feel as weighty.

There is something encouraging about being around others who can identify with challenges, sharing in a common language, partaking in a fellowship like no other. No one is exempt and all of God’s children have been entrusted with challenges much larger than ourselves, packaged in various “boxes” and wrapping, but each very real. We have been providentially entrusted with challenging opportunities to see God at work. Opportunities to identify with others we normally wouldn’t understand. Opportunities to partake deeper in the peace we can only find in Him. Opportunities to overcome. And opportunities to share it with others, so they, too, can overcome rather than be overcome by despair and discouragement or by the voice of the tempter and accuser of God seeking to disparage His divine and mysterious purpose in all of this. We either are overcome by them or we overcome them through the Word, the Spirit, and His faithfulness revealed in the testimony He’s given to us. Daily we are entrusted with the power to influence many – either in a positive way or a negative way.

Everyone faces a battle of some sort, Lord. Giants that threaten to shake or undo or overcome us. Giant threats – but no power. Thank You for the Overcoming Spirit. Thank You that You have overcome the world and deprived it of power and have conquered it for us. Help us to live in the victory of Your precious work, and reveal Your glory. Help us to embrace the gift of Your peace and confidence.

While he was eating dinner, a woman came up carrying a bottle of very expensive perfume. Opening the bottle, she poured it on his head….Jesus said, “She did what she could when she could – she pre-anointed my body for burial.”Mark 14:2-8

 

One of the challenges of being a caregiver is to seek what can be done to bring relief, trying what has worked for others. Surely I can DO SOMETHING to make a difference in helping Don or Dad. And realizing there’s only so much I can do. And so much I can’t. The last several weeks when Dad was growing weaker and so dehydrated, I felt so helpless. Wanting so much more for him, yet able to do less and less. He was a valiant fighter of the cancer and pressed on courageously to the end. Yet all I could do was encourage him to drink by squeezing a small sponge of water to drip into his mouth. I would dab his dry cracked lips with a sponge and put some salve on them. I would gently smooth cream onto his drying hands and feet. And as I did, I thought about the woman, who out of her devotion to Jesus, took her most precious ointment and poured it freely on His feet, anointing them with a mixture of nard and love and wiping them with her hair. I realized I, too, was entrusted with a sacred calling. As I thought of her, I dedicated each of these small acts as a sacred act of love and devotion – anointing his head and lips and hands and feet. Hard as they were, I came to cherish those sacred, holy moments I was privileged to experience.

 

I am also thankful for the many in the Body who have come alongside and not held back because of what they couldn’t do, but have done what they could, in some very creative ways. Prompted by obedience to God. Prompted by love for my family.  Prompted by the Spirit using their gifting and nature and relationship with us. Simple but profound acts anointing us with the ointment mixture of prayers, services and love. And Don, limited in many ways and even in pain himself, has done what he could to make a home for my parents.

I’m also thankful to Dad who left a legacy of doing what he could when he could. His life was one of passion for God leading him to do what he could out of compassion for others.

 

May I see each daily moment as a sacred opportunity and gift to do what I can – no more, no less, no different than Your calling and enablement. What a privilege You give us, Lord, to experience the holy and profound in the simple and routine moments of life.

I’m still pondering on the request Hannah gave God to remember (to mark, as to be recognized). I need to mark things in my mind in order to remember – mark a page or favorite passage in a book or the Bible, look at someone’s face for marks or something that distinguishes them, mark a path…my calendar is full of appointments marked and circled, complete with arrows for changes! There are many ways we mark things in order to remember, to get our attention at a needed time.  Some teens write on their hands. Older ones may put a string around their finger (“but I forgot what it was for!”) The Almighty God never forgets. We never need to work at getting His attention, unlike many of the “gods” on earth who require sacrificial acts etc. in order to gain an audience or favor.

On the contrary and sadly enough, He needs to get MY attention at times, generally in marked ways. In fact, He often reminds us to remember in specific ways because He knows we’re a forgetful people. So He establishes times and seasons, or landmarks, or feasts and festivals to stop and remember the Hebrews deliverance, or even the Lord’s Supper to be shared in remembrance of Him and His works and deliverance on our behalf.

So………how does He mark us? He remembered Hannah, and when He did it was truly marked-ly, with a growing womb as a daily reminder! (And she then marked her son, calling him “Asked of God” – Samuel. Marked with God’s own name (“el”) within his own)  So does God place a bookmark on the story of our lives, thus marking time from the request to the fulfillment? Is it for the onlookers in heaven to note? Are we marked more in the image of His Son? Is there something in the spiritual realm that takes place as faith is embraced that marks us so that even the demons “recognize” us ? Does He record something in a book somewhere?

Lots of questions. It is obvious that once Hannah knew she was heard, there was a remarkable difference in her countenance (“her countenance was no longer sad”). She was heard!!! God marks His own in ways we cannot always see or comprehend, but when we embrace it by faith, we too can mark it. Record it. And remark about it to others. And watch the hands of time continue as the Hand of God works on our behalf.  There is so much I do not know. But of this there is no doubt and it is such a comfort and assurance to know, really know, that I am heard and not forgotten.  During those times when I have no words to speak, but can only bring my weary heart and ongoing concerns to Him, I know He hears, He never forgets, He marks my requests and times with Him. And one day it will be evident. Mark my words – or, rather, His!!

 

God heard and “remembered” (marked) Hannah’s request. When He gave her the desires of her heart (placed there by Him), she marked Samuel with God’s very name (shama – to hear with great attention, el – God)  Whenever his name was spoken it would be a constant reminder that Hannah had asked of the Lord and He heard and had given her a son – and she gave him back to serve God in the temple. As a youngster, his first interaction with hearing God was to tell Him, “Speak, Lord, Your servant heareth” ( “shama”) As an older prophet, he asked of the Lord for discernment and words to give to His people; God asked of him to listen and be His messenger and voice to the people.

It is interesting to me to see the interplay of shama (hearing with attention, and intention to respond/obey) in the life of Samuel. He lived during a time when the “word of the Lord was rare”. Was it because there were no “hearers” or listeners of the Word? No do-ers? No seekers?

“He that has ears, let him hear” is an oft-repeated plea or warning of Jesus. Maybe even more of an invitation. I can tell when my kids “hear” me with an intention to obey. When they listen, really listen, they follow through. I also can tell when others are truly with me in spirit and heart and “hear” beyond my words. They hear my heart. They follow through with further questions, seeking further of me. And even make it a point of prayer or follow up with a question the next time we’re together. I’ve been heard.

Then there are times others may be listening to be polite but are just waiting their turn to speak their thoughts. They don’t get much from what I say. In fact, I may not offer much at all without an invitation to share. I may choose what I say to some knowing their ears may be stopped to deeper things I’d like to say. Maybe they have a filter or are jaded and I know I cannot share things that will be taken wrongly and not “heard”. If I drop a clue or thought and they don’t pick it up, I don’t continue. So I’ll listen, for listening is a great gift. It says “You’re worth hearing, worth the investment of my time, my heart.” I have found that there are a few listeners, but most people have difficulty listening “with intention.”

Maybe that is why the word of the Lord was rare. People didn’t value what He spoke, didn’t follow, or seek further. Why should He speak more? It certainly wasn’t/isn’t because He has nothing to say! Jesus shared many principles publicly and many were satisfied with that. But others would seek further and ask on a more personal level “what was the point of that parable?” They knew there was so much more than a nice story. They wanted more of Him. They valued Him and to those He would share more. They had ears to hear.

Lord, may I never be content to just read Your word for the content and knowledge. May I always have “ears to hear” so that You can communicate the deeper things, secrets You long to share with me, knowing I value You, I will follow them, I love You enough to seek further. I don’t want Your word to me to be “rare”, but flowing forth freely to me and through me. I long to know the heart behind Your words and for Your Word to be made flesh within my flesh.

 

So Hannah went to the temple to pray – an anguished prayer deep in her spirit with unspoken words. I have been there many times, with the Lord and with people. Just because I don’t say much doesn’t mean I have nothing to say, just a profound sense of my inability to fully express. I am so glad that God knows my heart and mind and doesn’t second-guess me. He hears the hidden cries, the inexpressible passion of joy or grief – or whatever I may be feeling – and doesn’t condemn or misunderstand. He hears, He knows, He treasures. And I am so thankful the Holy Spirit is a gift in so many ways, one of which is to communicate God’s thoughts and heart to me and to take my inability to express and communicates with groanings too deep for words on my behalf.

But Eli, well that’s another matter. How long did he observe her and wonder if she was drunk? Did he assume the worst right away? Did he try to read her lips, her non-verbal communication, her heart? Maybe he had seen many like this, so it was easy to assume she was just another. I know how I feel when “misread” – how many times have I misread another? Sometimes in my quest not to misread, I fear I may lose discernment of what truly is. Thank You, again, Holy Spirit, for bringing Your perspective. May I always see through Your eyes.

But it is her prayer that gets to me – to look on her need, to remember her, and to not forget. I speak to many people in the course of a week. It bothers me if I forget a name, a face, or something they have shared with me. To be forgotten lessens the sense of value and significance we all need. She was calling on the Almighty God to stop and take notice, not just hear her voice among others. To remember means to mark it firmly in your mind. Hear my cry. Mark me, Lord. Implant me firmly in Your mind. And His answer (through the now sobered Eli) was to go in peace. Later, in verse 19, it specifically says the Lord “remembered” her. There was a bookmark on this chapter of her life, placed by the Author Himself.

Since we know that it is impossible for the Lord to forget anything/anyone, I find it fascinating how her plea was matched with His direct answer – the same wording is used. There are times I need to emphasize some directions with my kids – don’t forget this. It adds weight to the direction. And it adds weight when it is heeded, even though they might already have been planning to do it.  He remembered me! It was important; therefore I am important!

 

As I’ve been going through 1 Samuel, I wanted to write out a few thoughts along the journey. I find it inconceivable to consider what it would have been like for Elkanah to have 2 wives, Hannah and Peninnah. The dynamics of a marriage are already challenging without adding another to the mix! But as I try to see through the eyes of Hannah, it’s even more difficult because she felt “inconceivable”. Her rival had several children, and with the discovery, process and birth of each one the internal pressure (desire for her own, question over why she was barren, guilt over speculations/anger at God, envy, shame) would be bad enough. But to live in a society that magnified each of those and marked the women who were barren added to the pressure externally. Did she feel hidden or abandoned by God? Was He deaf to her passionate cries, blind to her hot, stinging tears, mean for withholding her deepest desire? There was a loneliness and isolation she experienced that even Elkanah, who loved her deeply, couldn’t even touch.  A place only God could minister to, and a place of sweet fellowship with Him.

These elements – pressure, heat, hiddenness – over time is what it takes to form a beautiful diamond. (“The formation of natural diamonds requires very high temperatures and pressures. These conditions occur in limited zones of Earth’s mantleabout 90 miles  below the surface. This critical temperature-pressure environment for diamond formation and stability is not present globally.”  Geology.com)  The standing under pressure is what creates the diamond’s durability – hardest of all gemstones. And increases its value.

I love Hannah’s example. It speaks volumes to me as I encounter times of pressure (internal/external), heat, isolation and wondering how long? Her life of faithfulness and choices brought forth a great prophet in her son and influenced an entire nation.

May the testimony of Hannah also be reflected in my life, Lord.  May the light rays of Your faithfulness and goodness shine through the facets of my life and draw attention to You alone, for the display of Your glory.

Why me, Lord?

A driving question that has resounded likely since the beginning of time, either spoken out loud or whispered in the hidden corners of the deep cellar of one’s heart. Spoken or whispered it is the cry of an anguished heart longing for a sense of fairness or justice; for a sense of stability in a world where formulas don’t seem to fit every circumstance, when faced with the unpredictable nature of a God Who doesn’t fit my self-sketched profile of Him. A natural question, seeking purpose in the pain or futility of what my eyes see or what grief burrows deep in my heart. Why? Why me? Why now? Why, why, why… A burning desire to make sense in a senseless world, to see hope in a cruel world….and to see Your goodness in the midst of it all……..

I enter into the sound of countless voices through the ages of those faced with the emotional grief of an untimely death,

the sorrow over a broken relationship, the physical pain and suffering of a broken body no longer capable of obeying the command given it, the spiritual dis-ease of theological expectations crumpled and tossed into the wastebasket and starting with a fresh, unspoiled parchment upon which He can write –

…and  my voice comes as the whisper of a mother who watches the child of her heart struggle, knowing that struggle does not define him, but  the weight of it will define the types of relationships and future he will likely experience for his time on earth – why?…..…

But as I hear my voice join the others, similar in the experience which drives the words through my lips, yet somehow different this time as my eyes look a different direction. Life is hard – BUT God is good………………….So the expression of my Why me, Lord  becomes transformed into a prayer swelling up within me and bursting forth.

Why me, Lord?

Why have you set Your love upon me, creating me in Your image, breathing Your very own life into my being?

Why me – why are You mindful of each of my breathing moments? Why do you think of me more than the grains of sand on the shore?

Why have you chosen me to be the dwelling place of Your Son, a display of His wonder and glory?

Why me, Lord – why did You leave all the unimaginable glories of heaven to offer Yourself in my place –the place of a condemned violator of Your holy truth, to save me? When I look at myself I see the wretchedness and brokenness, the selfish drive for significance, security, control….but when You look at me, Your eyes pass over all that and You see the destiny for which You created me, the beauty from ashes, and I am filled with wonder…

Why me, Lord?

Why have You chosen me to invest my time,

my limited energies with Your boundless strength,

my incomplete human love with Your unlimited, ever flowing divine love –

my natural life with Your super-natural life –

into the life of this boy turning into a man who will likely not realize the dreams he dreams, the hopes to be “normal”,  the normal desires of a young life with much to look forward to… ?

Why me, Lord? Why have You blessed me to watch over and interpret his life to others – and interpret life to him?

To see him not as others do, but with Your eyes?

To see into a heart that others miss? To hear words that make sense to no one else? To feel the struggle in things others take for granted?

Why have You sought to funnel the love of Your great heart for him through my small, broken one? to be the bearer of this heavy weight in my heart as I look on him with such compassion as he struggles with understanding simple math concepts or navigating social situations? Why have You granted me the privilege of answering for the 100th time today (please, LORD!) if he will have autism for the rest of his life – or wouldn’t he look good in plaid? Of scripting Your truth into his mind (over and over and over and over….) so that it will bear some sort of fruit – fruit for Your kingdom – different, unique, born through much pain and sorrow – yet ripe and fresh and pure someday, chosen by Your hands?

 

Why me, Lord? It’s Your story, not mine. It’s Your glory, not mine. So if You can speak Your story and receive Your glory through my earthen vessel, so be it!!

To all this and more I say ‘Thank You, Lord’ for sharing with me Your heart and eyes and thoughts!

Help me become wise from all these “why’s” ……………………

………………and help me say thank you tomorrow when it starts all over again……………………………………

ARISE

Young woman, desperately desiring to fit in –
Don’t give in to com-promise; Your heart is promised to Me and it’s a perfect fit for Mine
You are My precious daughter – daughter of the King!
Arise and take your place – adorn yourself with My lavish robes of dignity and grace

Young man, distracted by cars as well as other “drives” –
Don’t give in to temptation
Arise, you are empowered through My royal blood flowing in your veins

Single woman, whether holding onto seemingly fleeting dreams of future marriage,
Or widowed and holding onto sweet reflections of past memories
Or divorced and presently feeling the bitter sting of rejection or abandonment
Invaded by the sour feelings of being left behind, passed over, or even tossed aside
Rise up, for you are truly “singled” out to be the companion of He who is
Faithful and True – Rise up and take My hand as My beloved Bride
Those searching for Me will find you there; those searching for you will find Me there…

Those who are brokenhearted by the hardships of life, hopes dashed,
fearful of awaking and opening your eyes to see more dreams crumbling and turning to nightmares
Rise up and offer the pieces of your heart to Me; I will gently handle them for I not only bring healing but wholeness, exchanging joy for mourning, peace for strife

Mothers, burdened by the endless cares and demands of children’s needs, no matter what age
Throw off any extra weights– Come bring your charges with you to Me and rest
Arise, you are My instrument of grace, the aroma of Christ flows from you.
Arise and be blessed as you bless others. You are blessing Me as you do.

Fathers, pulled by duties and responsibilities, caught up in details of making a living
Arise, join together against the tide of apathy, corruption, indulgence
Arise to your calling, anointing, and destiny
Arise to making a life and building a lasting legacy

Those who feel the clanging chains of past sinful memories, the searing claws digging into the present,
The current regrets weighing down upon your shoulders and your mind, and your heart
Lift up your gaze to Me; I alone am the Lifter of your head, Your Redeemer
It was for your freedom that I paid the penalty. Yes, it is finished!
Rise up and claim My victory for you – walk in My freedom!

Arise, beloved Bride of Christ …The time has come – I draw near
Can you not hear Me?
I come seeking the faithful,
as the Victorious Captain of Hosts in battle array with victory in My hand,…
I approach as the Bridegroom anxious to sweep My Bride away…
I return as Jehovah Father, to gather My children…
To be with Me – so that where I AM there you will BE also
So then, arise…take your place with Me, until we are finally Home.
CGR 9/09

Live like you’re loved – for you surely are!