Midst of the midst of me

n the midst of many decisions to be made, lots of “stuff” to consider, much in the noise of new circumstances, new questions (as well as “old” and on-going), I feel the need for space to think, consider and ponder. A place of quiet. I don’t cope well with constancy of noise, either internal or external. I admit feeling overwhelmed as I take Don to his various appointments trying to keep it straight (when was his last CT? what were the results of this or that blood test?), crossing out things in my calendar to make room for new appointments – while running the kids to camp, jobs, etc. And processing the news about Dad and wondering how I can be what he and Mom need as well. Feeling a bit stressed this week, I turned to Psalm 46.

 

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

God – not circumstances, not the medical community – not any other source.

You are MY refuge –a  personal, solid, fortified place set apart for safety. An inaccessible place to fear, distractions, danger. A place of rest.

You are MY strength – Your strength made perfect in my many times of weakness

You are EVER PRESENT – with me, in me, around me, above me, below me. You are HERE in this time and place.

 

ThereforeI choose to trust in Your nature and make no provision for fear – though the symptoms continue, though there are raging seas of questions and no answers, despite the roar of circumstances, the shaking and unsteadiness in ‘mountains’ that have seemed strong, sturdy and set falling in the midst of the sea. Selah

 

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

 

The thing about rivers is that the channel is deep within, strong, steady and moving no matter what happens on the surface. It goes forward toward its destination. May I dwell in your steady channel no matter what arises on the surface, as we move toward Your city and make it joyful. I want to dwell where You dwell.

 
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. In the midst of my life, You are in the nearest place – the midst of me. Center of center. No wavering, no failing! Thank You, Lord!!
Despite nations in uproars, kingdoms falling – He still calls to me to remember: The Lord of Hosts is with me. He is my fortress. At the sound of His voice, the earth melts. ALL things are subject to Him. His work, His timing, His way.

Cease striving, endless activity, useless speculations – direct your heart to knowing intimately My Godness. My goodness. My character. My beauty. My BEING. I will be exalted among the masses and peoples. How could they not once they know Me? Striving will cease as you consider, acquaint and know Me. How could it not? There is no use for it, no place for it, no reason for its existence in My Presence.

 

Lord, help me to be still – to cease striving. To join you in the center, to abide deep in the river of Your grace, strength, wisdom and Presence.

What do you think?